Angels

I actually started this post a few days ago because I never blog anymore, but in light of the events this past Friday I wanted to say a few words. I heard about the shooting in Newtown on Facebook. A friend's post (not sure what it said) prompted me to go to the news app on my phone and that is where I read the words that I never thought I would see together. Shooting. Elementary School. I immediately left the restaurant parking lot where I had pulled over to feed Shelby and headed toward Blake's school. I called Shawn on my way. He had not heard about it yet. I think I am going to get Blake I told him tearfully. I know it's hard, but he is fine, he reassured. Thinking he was right I went home. Jackson wanted to play on the computer so I turned it on for him and went into the living room and turned on the TV. The news was not very detailed at that point. It was being called the worst mass shooting in our nation at that time. All I could think of was my baby who I watched run into the school that morning. All I could think of were my friends in the classroom. It was like September 11. What do you do? So I did all I knew to do. I prayed. And as I prayed the more I wanted to hug Blake. It was almost 1:00, almost the end of the school day. I scooped up Shelby and Jackson and we went to the school. I walked into the office informed the receptionist that I wanted to get Blake Robison early. He's in Mrs. Potts class. She called for him in the classroom and then discovered that he was in the library. So she called there for him to come down for an early dismissal. The receptionist who knows me smiled. Can I go ahead and see your ID? With everything today...I cut her off...yes, yes, thank you it's no problem. She and the other woman who works at the front were reading on the computer. It brought even more memories of 9-11. In retrospect I think that may be why I went to get Blake. I remember on September 11 (it was my first year of teaching) that parents slowly trickled in to pick up their kids. I remember not knowing anything and trying to get news updates on my classroom computer. I remember not wanting to alarm the kids but the ones who were left kept asking me why everyone was leaving early. I can't remember how I answered. Coming through the office I saw one of the other Kindergarten teachers. She told the ladies that another student (who we know) was being picked up in a few minutes and he was ready with his things. I smiled at her. She is one who puts Blake in my van each afternoon. Right then she opened the door and said, here's Blake! I wasn't sure if he would be happy to see me. But he smiled. Are you surprised to see me? Yes he said back shyly. I took his face in my hands and kissed him. I love you I said. We got back in the car and headed toward my Mom's house. Jackson wanted Sonic and yes he still had not eaten lunch so I was planning to stop on the way. We were exiting on Hwy 10 when Andrea came on KLTY. Her tone serious. Details are emerging from Newtown she said. I don't even remember now what she said. I just remember her saying Kindergarten class, number is believed to be close to 30. I brought my hand to my mouth. Oh my God. Tears flowed. I tried to keep quiet but I just couldn't. My mind immediately went to a particular Kindergarten teacher's classroom where I worked last year. I saw tiny faces. Innocent faces. I looked in my rear view mirror. I saw my babies. Blake is tall. He doesn't look like a Kindergartner but he is. And he is so innocent. He doesn't understand bad things. He doesn't understand death. Mommy what's wrong? he said. Mommy what did she say? What happened? I didn't answer. So the questions kept coming. Jackson must have felt the gravity of the situation. Because he forgot all about Sonic. (He never forgets! And we had already driven past the Sonic.)  Blake! She doesn't want to answer you right now so stop asking her. I gained a little composure. A bad man did something bad that's all. The questions stopped there. I said boys we just need to pray. Jackson answers back, I think we need to pray right now! My mind instantly begins praying and that same Kindergarten class floods back to my mind. You take your baby that you love more than life to school. You pray for their education, you pray that no one picks on them on the playground. You pray that they will find a best friend. You pray that their teacher will love them half as much as you do. You pray that they will be safe, that they won't forget to go down the slide instead of up. That they won't get their folder signed. That they will listen to the teacher and that they will learn what they need to know and not learn what they shouldn't. But never do you dream that you should pray that they come back. I can not even begin to fathom the pain that these families are feeling. I have spent the last few days remembering lock down drills, and thinking about the teachers that I know. Thinking about my classrooms of kids that I have loved over the years. There isn't one of them that I wouldn't try to protect. I am not going to think about this person or his motive. If he was mentally ill. If he cried out for help. I am only going to remember those teachers, that principal, that psychologist, and those sweet little innocent babies that were just beginning to learn about the world. The parents who will likely have to say their final goodbyes this week as they bury their children. They should be finishing up their Christmas shopping, getting ready for Santa pictures, Polar Express day and class parties. So I will do it for them. I'll hold my babies because they can't. I will shelter them from the news, because they can't. I will pray and remember all that they lost and in doing so I hope to honor them.

Catching Up!

Well it has been a REALLY long while since I have blogged. With all that has been going on it has been too difficult to sit down and write. The main BIG news is that we are having a baby in April! We are very blessed after several months of seeing a fertility doctor that we got pregnant without having to go to extreme measures. We found out just after Thanksgiving that we are in fact having a little GIRL! So I have done over my blog with a little PINK to honor her! As of today she does not have a name! We are currently debating between Shelby Elizabeth and Katelyn Marie. Although her brother Blake wants to name her Lily so that is still on the table as well.

A good friend from church is also expecting a baby and we are due within a few days of each other so it will be an exciting Spring!

Perhaps the best news of all is that after the baby is born I will not have to return to work this school year and will have the whole summer to spend with her! I am really looking forward to that! With Blake I went back to work after 8 weeks and with Jackson only 6 weeks. So this will be a new experience for me.

Blake will be starting Kindergarten this fall! It is so hard to believe how fast that time has gone by. He is growing into such a sweet little boy. He is SO smart. We are constantly amazed with the things he knows! 

Jackson is growing fast too. He puts on a concert with his guitar almost every night for us in the living room. He seems to be almost finished with the terrible two's! Thank goodness!

Reece is doing well in first grade! He is reading and doing great in math. Hard to believe that he will be SEVEN this summer.

All the boys are extremely excited about their baby sister! Blake especially....talks to my tummy every day. The boys were hoping for a baby sister because "I already have 2 brothers so I want a sister". So I am glad they were not disappointed! I am pretty excited about a girl too! Although I am afraid that she will cost way more! Girl stuff is just too cute! We are about to start on the nursery. We have moved Reece and Blake in together on bunk beds, Jackson got a big boy bed and the baby is taking over Reece's old bedroom. So right now all we have in there is the nursery furniture and we will of course be painting pink! We just registered for some things at Babies R Us this weekend. I registered for the bedding at Pottery Barn Kids. It is so pretty! I can't wait to see how it all looks. I will be sure to post some pics when we finally finish!

Spring Break

Well it has been a pretty fun week. Monday I was able to spend some time with an old friend and finally see her new baby girl! Tuesday I took Jackson for his 2 year checkup. He is still the smallest of my boys. Then we ventured to Grapevine Mills mall where I managed to temporarily lose Blake. There was about 3 minutes of shear terror where I did not know where he was. But thank GOD a very nice couple saw him alone and brought him back to me. (Me being the lady screaming at the top of my lungs!) Blake and I had a very long talk on the way home about how dangerous that was and he promised to never do that again. Also we have a new rule that I must be able to see him at all times. Wednesday we went to the Botanical Gardens with the Boysen Team and then we headed over to Grannie's for a bit. Reece came in Wednesday night. Thursday we hung around the house and played outside. Then Aunt Sissy and the girls came over and played for a little while and Mommy had a night out with the girls! Friday Shawn came home from work early and we went out to the Stockyards and the big boys rode ponies. We also took them to the petting zoo and had dinner at Riscky's. It was a fun night! Then Saturday we went to the museum. Today was church. Shawn got a call from Jackson's class during Sunday school. I got worried and went out to see if everything was ok. When I got out to the desk I saw Blake sitting there crying. And they were calling me. So I guess my boys were just tuckered out and needed their Mommy. So unfortunately we had to leave church early. But Shawn had to drive Reece home anyway. So that is Spring Break 2011. I am not looking forward to going back tomorrow. I mean I am thankful for the break but honestly I am just worn down right now with all that is going on at work. Crunch time for TAKS testing is in full swing....and it is my least favorite thing of all. Lots of things are happening for us in the weeks to come. I will post more about that later. Till then prayers are appreciated.

Snow

It has been a crazy couple of weeks! We have had 5 snow days! Four last week and one today! I have been keeping pretty busy doing laundry that will never end and trying to keep the kids entertained. Jackson is getting so big these days and Blake is full of energy. So there is never a dull moment in the Robison house. But I must say...I wouldn't have it any other way.

Greatness!!!!

My sister just showed me this! It is totally awesome!!!

The Robison Family

Shiny Happy Smiles Christmas

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Summer

Goodness gracious what a summer. Because I am on an extended contract I work pretty much to the end of June. So my summer pretty much consists of the month of July. I can't lie I am really going to miss my boys now that school is back in full swing.



Jackson is such a fun age right now. I can't tell you how many times I have looked at him in the last few weeks and just busted out laughing because of his expressions or because of his attempt to say a word. Or when he runs up and yells MA-MA and tackles me. I will miss reading books to Blake in our pajamas or running to sonic happy hour. I will miss Blake saying "Mommy where are we going somewhere today? You member you said we were going to do something fun?" Or perhaps the most difficult part of the end of summer is when I walk past Reece's room and catch myself peeking in at his empty bed wishing that we had just one more week as a family of 5. Reece gets to stay with us for 42 days in the summer. And for those 42 days our family is complete. Then he leaves and it feels like an eternity before we see him again. He starts Kindergarten this year. I can hardly believe it. Later this month he will get on an airplane and fly here for the weekend...all by himself. I swear it seems like yesterday he was a newborn and I was holding him for the first time. Praying so hard that he would know how much he was loved. I remember thinking...will he love me someday? How will I fit into his life? How will he fit into mine? Now I can't imagine life without him.



Now it's all about packing backpacks and lunches, sending them off to Grannie's and going to school. It will be all about what they did that day that I missed instead of us telling Daddy about all the fun we had. My babies are growing up so fast. So long summer! See you next July! ;)